They left a bad taste in my mouth...
Here are my top 10:
10. Okay, so listen, I've gotta ask -- are you really as
ticklish as you look?
9. Okay, so I just went crazy over your profile! Well... Not
like straight jacket crazy or creepy guy in a van crazy but like a totally
chill crazy. Your taste in movies has to be the best and... Yup. Probably safe
to assume that about most everything else that may not be listed here. I think you should message me back! For
funsplosions.
8. Me and my friend wanna help you out. We're not gay, were straight just horny enough to share a girl or take turns, aint gay if balls dont touch ;P
7. Damn. I don't know how you feel about it, but I'm looking for a cool ass
chick to hang out with and be sexual with on occasion...I'm commonly addressed as "Math," and I'd like to add someone to my life, subtract drama, and multiply our time together by infinity.
6. I bet if we chatted there would be a recursive, cute quip
overload as the quips kept piling on, back and forth, until the entire internet
was sunken as if it hit an iceberg. Because you know what they say, cute quips
sink ships.
5. So when you say casual sex, how much do you charge?
4. i saw something today that reminded me of you; i went to text you about
it and realized i dint have your number yet.. so send it to me, i promise ill only call you 100-150 times a day to ask you
"watchuu thinking abooouuutt?"
3. Someone should preemptively attack your eyes so they won't be able to hurt anyone in the future.
2. You don't seem like my ex at all.
AND NUMBER ONE MY OVERALL FAVORITE THING I'VE EVER RECEIVED:
1. Would climb mt everest and shit with nothing but a loin
cloth for clothing and ellen degeneres' queef for an air supply just to get a
chance at holding the door for you without you even noticing.
DING! DING! DING! Ladies and gentleman we have a winner.
Seriously, send me your weirdest pickup lines and you may make the next list.
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